Can Widows Curb Justified Anger?

Why are we so angry?

Lately I notice that when a group of widows gather, for an afternoon of cards, or an evening dinner, conversation turns to someone we all know who is not there, and the mean darts of gossip begin swirling

Those throwing the most darts seem to be the angriest. It’s as though rehashing someone else’s faults—or troubles—makes them feel more satisfied with themselves and their own lives even for a little while.

Why should they take pleasure in another’s problems? Perhaps it’s just an opportunity to feel superior, and as a widow there are so many reasons to be angry because usually you’re feeling inferior.

You feel inferior because: you are alone when others have a partner to go out to dinner with, or go to movies with on Saturday nights while you stay home. So you’ get justifiably angry at your situation and yourself—and you don’t want the world to feel sorry for you. And one way to prevent it, you think, is to make someone else seem more pathetic than you feel yourself to be.

But you are wrong. The one thing that will make you feel better is to uplift everyone you can, and try to make every one feel positive bout something in their situation. If you can coax a smile out of someone else, your own spirits will lift.

And that all will be easier if you remember what Dr. Phil always says, “you wouldn’t worry about what people think about you if you realized how seldom they do.”###