I have to laugh when I hear widowed friends talk about how they never correct their grandchildren or even children because they want to remain “friends” and not ruin their relationships.
I say, “If you can’t speak your mind, it’s no relationship.,”
I know you feel you’re on tenuous ground (especially during holidays) and dearly want the kids to want you around. But what good is being around if you can’t be yourself?
If you hear family members trashing friends, relatives or neighbors –speak up. You may ask what was done to them, and why they harbor bitter feelings. Then agree they were wronged (if they were).
But then it’s your duty to explain that those who trespass against us, will go off on their merry way afterward and never feel badly about it. bu if t those offended keep stewing about it–THEY are the ones who suffer sadness and disappointment, not to mention anger.
And you might remind them that a vessel holding anger and resentment always turns black.
You should have taught that to your kids when they were young, and they in turn should have told it to your grandchildren.
They MIGHT be upset with your brashness, but it’s worth it.They’ll remember you one day as that wise woman who wasn’t afraid to speak her mind.