“Oh, darn, it’s that time of year again,” you think, when you hear Valentine’s day ads all over the media and see joyful hearts covering entire shopping malls, “That’s one more reminder that I’m alone.”
Well, you’re entitled to feel sorry for yourself, but just for a short while. The best defense against any challenge, including widowhood, is a good offense. Don’t let your life be consumed by grief over a situation you can’t control.
Because there are some things you DO still control.
Instead of falling victim to that justified depression (and possibly anger at your situation), get up and start putting one foot in front of the other.
The first stop might be a walk in the memorial park where your loved one rests. Most become exquisite winter wonderlands amidst all this snow, and a handful of bright flowers placed beside his marker will brighten your heart as well as the scene.
If he was cremated, with ashes scattered, visit that place where he asked to be remembered.
And remember you are never alone if you keep special memories alive. In that vein, contact family members and friends who also remember good times with him and plan to see each other Wednesday. You can meet for a meal, or a drink or afternoon tea.
It’s also nice to get out an old CD you enjoyed together, watch it with a glass of wine. If you are lucky enough to have children or grandchildren nearby, invite them to join you–and bake some cupcakes for them.
The only thing that reminds us more of happy yesterdays is smelling something delicious in the oven.
In other words, don’t fall victim to sorrowful thoughts when you can at least minimize them with good ones.