Don’t Chase After Married Kids

There’s that temptation when you live alone after your spouse’s death, to want to tighten the bonds between yourself and the rest of the family, particularly children and grandchildren.

One friend of mine sold the large family home when her husband died and moved with her grown son into a small ranch home in the same town, close to her newly married daughter.

That was fine until last year when the daughter bought a home in a far away suburb, became pregnant. She just had the family’s first grandchild and my friend, who still works full time, spends every free moment at their home, babysitting when the parents leave and helping when they are present.

Last month my friend announced she planned to sell her current house and buy one closer to her grandchild so she can be more helpful.

The kids didn’t see it that way. Her daughter told her they’re thinking of selling their new home in a couple years and moving back toward the city because the commute is too far to work.

Let that subtle message work for all of us. They don’t want us on top of them. They will call when they need us. Trust me .

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